Back Again

Long time no blog! I put up a new picture. Lots has changed since the last post AGAIN. Not sure why I can't see to be consistent with this thing. I am down to 241 Which is 141 pounds gone since January 2009, my highest weight ever. My surgery day weight in June 2009 was 355 so I have lost 114 pounds in two years and two months. Could have been faster but I chose to live also keep living. Still drink alcohol and soda, still put to much on my plate, I get stuck everyday and what my family likes to call it "kick it out" all the time. But its the way I live. My goal is to be down to 190 by Christmas...Big goal but I am done with the process. I want to get my band loosened and maybe be able to eat properly with out having to "kick it out" every time I eat. I have developed social anxiety when it comes to eating. I DO NOT like to eat in public or around people that do not know what I have done. Just the thought of it makes me tighten up which makes it worse. So when out in public I pretend and just have a glass of wine or whatever. I started cardio kick boxing boot camp in may and I love it. Its the hardest thing I have ever done and it amazes me what I can do now compared to 141 pounds ago.

My diabetes that was discovered pre surgery is non existent which is a good thing. I went on a the water slides this summer. Something I have not done in 25 years. That was fun. I love to shop for clothes. Still in a size 20 pant, but down from a size 32 two years ago so that is huge for me. Looking forward to even hitting the size 18. I get the attention again I did in my early twenties. This is a little different. Definitely makes you think about your marriage. But that is another blog topic.

My hair has never recovered still very thin on top, not liking that. But if I keep it bleached, it seems to help hid it. Two years out so I don't think it's going to come back thicker at this point. I am sure it's hormonal also. Who knows.

One thing this whole process needs more of is some sort of bariatric psychology. The issues of why we are over weight never go away. The Doc's need to get peoples head straight just as much as they work on finding the perfect fill spot. Again, another reason it terrifies me to get my band loosened.

I can tell you I hate eating. It's a chore. It's annoying. It's a burden and most of the time it is somewhat painful. Nothing bad, or maybe I am just used to it. The funny part of that it may passion for cooking is so overwhelming. It is all I want to do so my new goal is to go to culinary school and open my own small gourmet shop....Just a wine and craft beer joint that serves "bite" style plates to share. I picture the office girls stopping by for a happy hour after work to unwind, or maybe a first stop on a first day...Something cozy and welcoming and rustic. We will see.

If you have read my blog... you will know that my son and my husband also were banded. My son a week before me and my husband who did it on the same day. I can report to you that my son has also lost about 120 and wants to lose about 40 more. Sadly, this process has not worked so well for my husband. He is down about 60 and does not try very hard. He did get his band loosened over a year ago because of a trip we were taking to Vegas for an event and wanted to be able to drink beer without it being a problem. You can see where his priorities are. Never went back for to refill and should. But that is his issue not mine. I can't be responsible for everything in our house. I offer good food choices and that is all I can do.

My son is loving life. He is in love with a wonderful girl... She is going to college in Washington State so it is long distance since we are in AZ, but they are perfect for each other. She spent the summer with us and that was interesting. Again another blog! I had a hard time with my decision two years ago when he was 19 for him to do this surgery but now I am so happy he did... At 390 pounds he would have been well into the 400's by now and it would not have been a good thing. Again, the head has to get right for the weight to come off.

So that is my update. I plan to update regularly now since I hope that will help me hit my goal by Christmas. My workout days are Monday Wednesday and Friday. So hopefully posting that will also make me stick to going three days a week...

Blog to you soon!