Thursday, November 26, 2009

Day three after my fill

Got a fill on Monday... I am now 9.4 cc's in an 11 cc band. That kind of scares me. What happens when I can't put anymore in and my restriction is gone.

Anyway, my DR puts us on liquids for three days after a fill... so my diet has consisted of the following...

Monday turkey chili at 10 am (fill at 2 pm) water for the rest of the day. Nothing sounded good via the liquid diet..

Tuesday... protein shake before work... got about 3 gulps down on my way out the door... that came back up. Drank it to fast.
Starbucks coffee
Naked protein drink

Starbucks coffee
glass of white wine
Naked protein drink
4 more glasses of white wine

That has been my diet for the last three days... not great, not what it's supposed to be, but it is what it is... The fun part is my weight on Monday was 317.5... this also included the dreaded period gain because the Friday before I was at 313...

So Today, Turkey day, I am 309!... Now I know that is period weight gone and I have really had nothing but wine and coffee for the last three days... so it was nice to see a new lower number... and according to the scale I am 10 pounds away from these totally disgusting 300 numbers that I have been in for the past 20 years, but I also now that it will go back up again as soon as I start to eat normal food which is always so hard. I hate the loss after a fill that goes back up for a week and then goes back down a week before a fill again... it take a month to take off put back on and take back off the original amount that was lost three days after liquids only from a fill... why can't it just keep going down..

Again this is why I am so nervous about being close to maxing out my band capacity... It has taken 6 fills to lose about 45 pounds... I have 150 left to lose. I don't see how that is going to happen with only 1.5 cc's left to fit.

We will see... I agree with Jen's post of where does the restriction go...

But I will be happy today, I can eat food today and it just happens to be Turkey day. I am a little gun shy about what is going to happen with food since I have not tested my new fill yet. Dr...said to be very careful be cause I am at that point of being really tight and food being a problem and he didn't want to get an emergency call!

Maybe I will just stick to wine and coffee... that seems to be working the best. My hair is falling out anyway and I am getting about 70 to 90 grams of protein a day so that isn't keeping it from happening anyway. At least with my coffee and wine diet I will be thin and drunk if I am going to be bald.

Saturday, November 21, 2009


I have had a couple people say they can't post on my blog... i have tried a fix so if anyone reads this please try to comment so I can see if its working...


Thursday, November 19, 2009

What will it be???

I was watching a person work out today and it just amazed me how much some people can do... Example, run on the treadmill. I don't think even if I was 120 I could run. I am to much of a klutz, but we will see? This lead me to think about my passions and what will they be when I am no longer carrying around this extra person...

I don't think I will ever like hiking, it just does not interest me... But I do enjoy walking around in the forest, just not hiking up mountains... We have a mountain here called camelback and I don't ever see me being interested in personally see the top of it.

I know I will water ski again. I grew up water skiing and can't wait for my kids to do this. Obviously I have not done this with them because a 350+ pound person on the boat is not a real treat to look at. Plus there is no way in hell I would be able to pull myself up out of the water. But I will be skiing next summer. I might not be at goal, but I will be at least 100 pounds down and that will look a lot better!

I want to white water rapid on a raft with a bunch of people...that looks so fun. Can't wait.

Another thing I really want to do is go to a nude beach... I have always wanted to to that. How freeing would that be. After all of these year hiding in the fat suit to just be out there for all the world to see and not even care... I think that will be the first thing I do when I hit goal... kind of my coming out party. My husband says he would go with me. Not sure if he could bare all but he would try... I love him for at least trying... I'm sure he is hoping to see lots of boobies! But I still love him for going and being my wing man!

I want to play softball again. I have not played since before my banded son and he is 19! Its been a long time. I think I would be afraid of the ball hitting me in the face but we will see.

I want to be addicted to yoga... Never done it but it looks so peaceful and satisfying... I have no idea but it looks that way to me.

Those are a few of the things that I am looking forward to doing... I can't wait to find out what I will be passionate about... Another wonderful thing the band will bring!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Happy Wednesday to all!

It has been a few days since my last post I am down to 313 so I finally had some movement on the scale... I probably won't hit my 299 by Turkey day but I will be happy to be in the 30? number. Maybe Santa will bring me 299!

I have been doing everything perfect and what a difference it actually makes. It is causing me to drop about 4/10 (my scale does .2 .4 .6 .8 after your weight if that makes sense) of a pound a day since Friday. I am eating just half a cup of food at each meal, getting my water, all my vitamins, correct amount of protein and I am back at the gym everyday doing 1/2 hour on the tread mill. That is the best I can do for now but will build back up again to the 45 minutes I was at and a rotation on the equipment.

I stopped going about 6 weeks ago after going consistently for about a month and a half... I felt great and don't know why I stopped...Just like always from the past. I know when I stopped, it was when my period started and didn't feel good for a day and then used that for an excuse for a week, then I caught a cold and there you go. But I took my son and said we are going back and we are doing it.... I won't stop again this time.

It's stupid. I paid a lot of money for the three of us to be banded, I need to be doing this to it's fullest and it is amazing how much better you feel when you exercise. I was pretty shocked at how much I was able to do after a week when I first started going. I got tired walking around the grocery store let alone exercising. So anyway we are back at it and it feels great. I'm not going to lie, it's tough to leave work after 10 to 12 hours a day and get to the gym, best part of my workout is when the tread mill says 5, 4, 3 ,2 , out complete. I love that! Such a sense of accomplishment.

Another thing I am working through right now is my sleep. I was going to bed around 12:30 or 1:00 in the morning every night and getting up at 4:30. I was working off of about 4 hours a night if that. Basically a nap. I am making myself go to bed by 9:30... It is tough. It feels like I am going to bed around 6 in the evening. But I have to do it. I have to get at least 7 hours sleep. I know this is one of the huge factors in weight gain... They are proving that. So another thing I am trying to do to help this process. I find it funny that I wake up about 2 am and find it hard to go back to sleep...I guess my body is still on it's 4 hour cycle... But I will get myself retrained.

Send good thoughts to keep me going and I will send them back to you!

Danise :)

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Thursday, November 12, 2009


I've come to the conclusion that I am working against myself and didn't even know it. I joined daily plate and have been logging my food. From what I thought was healthy I can now see my carbs are way out of whack. I am getting a ton of protein but my carbs are half of my pie chart... That can't be good. They are not bad carbs but carbs from things like Greek yogurt ( I refuse to give that up) slim fast, protein bars and granola that I am putting in my yogurt... Its not a lot of items but they sure add up...

Then my next thing is lack of sleep. I function off of 3.5 to 4 hours of sleep a night. This is really just a nap. And I think it is killing me literally. This has been going on now for about three months and I don't think I can make it much longer. My son and I carpool together. He has to be at school at 6:30 and it is about 45minutes away, we leave the house at 5:30 so he can drop me off. I get to work about 5:45 and then get done around 4... I do the normal evening stuff and I just done' seem to get to bed before 12:30 or 1:00 am. I am exhausted

Third is the stress of my job. So you mix carbs, no sleep and high stress and my body is not letting go as fast as it should with the amount of food that I am eating.

With that said I guess it's time to make choices in what is good for me and not what is good for everyone else. I am going to have to so something about the car pool thing. Getting to work everyday two hours early is ridiculous, staying up so late so I can possibly see my husband for a few minutes at night is not working (swing shift guy) and then I have to start saying no at work. It all sounds so easy when I am typing it but good luck doing it.

Another annoyance AGAIN is the fill thing. I got my last fill on Nov 3rd, I really thought this one was it, i got a shrimp somewhat stuck just last night and then restriction gone today. I am at 7.5 of my 11cc realize band. I am starting to get nervous that I am going to run out of cc's to fill. I got exactly 8 days of restriction this time, dropped 5 pounds since last Wednesday and now here we go again. What is really weird is I know my restriction is gone as soon as I can burp again. When i am tight it is next to impossible for me to burp.

So back to will power again for two weeks. I am actually getting a fill the day before thanksgiving... NO Turkey for me this year and I don't really care. I got out of cooking.

I really wanted to hit 299 for turkey day, but that is 15 pounds away and I don't see if happening with no restriction again. We will see.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

About Me

-Age: 44
-Annoyance: Stupidity… lazy co workers
-Animal: Cat
-Actor: Kevin Costner Vince Vaughn

Birthday/Birthplace: June 8th in Redwood City Ca
Body part on men: That V shape of the upper torso and hands
Been in love: Deeply a couple of times
Been bitched at: To many times
Believe in yourself: No… not really
Believe in God: Yes and in Goddess
Before weight: 355, highest ever was 382 in Jan 09 – scared the hell out of me.

Car: Dodge Ram Truck and a Ford Focus
Candy: Snickers and Twix
Color: Green
Cried in school: Many times
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
Chinese or Mexican: Mexican at home Chinese dining out
Cake or pie: Pie – Lemon
Country to visit: If I only get one it would be all over America.

Day or night: Night
Danced: Yes and Love it
Do the split: Never have

Eggs: Soft Boiled
Eyes: Green

First Crush: I think his name was Scott in Kindergarten
First thoughts after waking up: What am I going to eat?
Favorite food: Pizza

Greatest Fear: Losing my children
Goals: To be physically, mentally, emotionally spiritually and financially happy.
Get along with your parents? I think my mom and I go through the motions because you’re supposed to love each. I will never make her happy no matter what I do…My dad is a control freak, but I KNOW he loves me; It’s a love I can feel… I can’t say I know my mom REALLY loves me like a mom should. She says she does.

Good luck charm: In the past I have tried to create one. But I don’t really have one…

Hair color: dark blonde – light brown
Height: 5’9”
Happy: No… if I am to be totally honest.
Holiday: The fall holiday. .
Health Freak: In my mind I am, but my actions are not… It’s a weird thing I struggle with.
Hate: Child abuser, Rapist (they should both be put to instant death) Women who sleep with other woman’s man. If they didn’t men couldn’t cheat. It’s that simple.

Ice cream: Jamocho Almond Fudge butter
Instrument: I have played the guitar when I was in elementary school… I wish I could play the piano

Jewelry: Pretty basic…wedding ring, spoon ring and earrings.
Job: Insurance Account Manager for large construction firms

Kids: 3 (Boy 19, Girl 8, Boy 6
Kickboxing or Karate: I would love to do kick boxing
Keep a journal: No…I just started blogging so that is kind of a journal

Longest Car Ride: 19 hours from Northern CA to AZ
Love: Not sure what the questions is…I am in love, have been in love. Love to me is just knowing the other person loves you and you don’t have to wonder if they really do.
Laughed so hard you cried: Laughing is my favorite thing to do, so yes many times.
Love at first sight: No one can love someone at first sight… That is lust. And Lust at first sight is fun also.

Milk flavor: Regular whole milk like we drank when we were kids. Now it’s 1%
Movie: Practical Magic
Mooned anyone: My husband
Marriage: I am (twice) now you understand one of my HATES!
Motion Sickness: Once or twice in my life.
McDonalds or Burger King: Burger King regular little hamburgers and McDonalds fries and ice coffee

Number of siblings: 0
Number of Piercing: 2
Number: 5 seems to show up in my life a lot… not sure why.

One wish: Peace, when you are at peace that means everything in your life is good… That is one word that sums up the best of everything.

Place you'd like to live: Coast of California
Perfect Pizza: Round Table
Pepsi or Coke: Coke

Questionnaires: They make you think about yourself every now and then and make you see how your thoughts/opinions change over your life.

Reason to cry: When I feel like I can’t do “it”…”It” being whatever it is at any given moment.
Reality TV: I love Top Chef and Biggest Loser
Roll your tongue in a circle: Yes

Song: Anything by Stevie Nicks
Shoe size: 9 or 10 depends on the shoe
Salad dressing: Blue Cheese or My dad’s 1000 Inland
Skipped School: More then I want to admit.
Sing well: My kids say I do…
Strawberries or blueberries: Strawberries because they are less expensive… But I do like both

Time for bed: Usually around mid night and up at 4 am. Not good.
Thunderstorms: One of the best things Mother Nature can give us… I love them
TV: I watch a lot of it.

Unpredictable: I am pretty predictable… You can guarantee that I am going to be ticked off at any given moment at something.

Vegetable you hate: Egg Plant
Vegetable you love: Salad…Any kind.
Vacation spot: I want to go to a nudist beach at goal... Just something I have always wanted to do… That seems like it would be so freeing.

Weakness: Cheese and Wine
When you grow up: I want to be responsible
Which one of your friends acts the most like you: I don’t have close friends anymore… I moved away from them 15 years ago and have never really made new ones… Just acquaintances. I don’t trust anymore.
Wanted to be a model: I want to look like one but not actually have that be my career...

Xrays: A few

Year it is now: 2009
Yellow: was my favorite color when I was a kid… I still like it but never use it… Don’t know why.

Zoo: They are ok... I don’t really like to see locked up animals
Zodiac sign: Look up Gemini in the dictionary and you will see a picture of me… You can’t be more Gemini that me.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Back from Sin City

Got back yesterday (actually Tuesday I started this last night) and to the DR today... got a fill and boy did I need it... On Oct 5th I was 326...fill number three...

By Oct 30th I was 323...In between I was down to a low of 316 and back up... At the Dr's today I was 322... Which means I actually lost a pound after being in Vegas for 4 days. Not bad. He always tries to be encouraging and said 1 pound a week is great. Let's face it we all want more then 1 pound a week but it is what it is. I did tell him I got down to 316 and was disappointed that I went back up as soon as I didn't have any restriction. He told me that he wants me coming in every three weeks now to catch the loss of restriction before the weight shows back up on the scale...

Now skipping forward to today (Thursday) My hubby also got a fill yesterday. He is the one that has the most problem out of all of us. Well this time he really proved what a jack ass he is (again said with love) He got his fill, drank his water and told the doc all was good... We leave. As we walk out the door, he spits out his water. I was furious. He proceeds to keep spitting and foaming and says he will be fine. He drops me back at work he proceeds to work. Well, needless to day I get a call at home from the darling late that evening and he is saying you better call and get me in tomorrow as this isn't going to work. He can't even keep is saliva down. I am so angry at him for being such an idiot with his band... He gets home around 2 am from work and is just miserable he has been foaming and spitting now for about 14 hours... He says he is going to lay on the couch. Well all I heard all night long is him waking up gasping for air and chocking on his own spit because if you can't swallow there is no where for it to go. And if your asleep and can't swallow, your going to chock... HELLO!!!! I swear he was going to drown... Needless to say I was up all night long worrying and before you know it my alarm goes off at 4:30 am and I have to get up.

I call the after hours service at 5:30 when I get to work so they can let the doc know he is coming in as soon as they open. He shows up they take out a cc and he is on his way. I lecture him and of coarse now that he is able to get water down he is back to his cocky little self and saying I was fine... I swear I am going to kill this man if he doesn't pull his head out of his ass.

Now I ask why are men so damn annoying. If if it wasn't for their muscle to move heavy things for me... and that other part that I am so fond of I would be a lesbian. They have the right idea. If I could just get myself to be sexually attracted to the same sex I would be good to go, but that damn little man part just keeps me coming back.. Oh well maybe in my next life!

Anyway, got my fill yesterday at 11 am... I was good all day yesterday with the liquids and up until tonight when i was fixing the kids some chicken... I had a few bites.. I KNOW, liquids only but I was so hungry and it tasted to good. I chewed it like crazy and just enjoyed the flavor in my mouth... no stuck but the RESTRICTION WAS GREAT!!! Just hope I can keep this one for the next three weeks. From yesterday until this morning I was 322 at the doc's and 318 at home this morning... I love how fast it moves with a fill. If only it would stay that way and stay off.

This will get you... Hubby was 340 at the doc's yesterday at 11:30 and this morning at 9:30 when he was back he was 329... he lost 11 pounds over night... obviously not being able to swallow he was losing all kinds of water weight and probably starting to dehydrate, so I am sure it will be back on now that he is drinking and eating soup, but WOW to bad we can't work it like that everyday!

I also wanted to mention the trend I was seeing catching up on every ones blogs after being gone for four days... People seem to be happy and liking who they are. They are realizing that this is going to work and it's OK to have some CANDY for Halloween and the band is keeping them from going crazy and falling off the proverbial wagon again... This isn't weight watchers. We can't just stop and say oh well I will try again another day. We have this little artificial part that says you are not going to stop this time you are going to do it... It may be slow and steady and it's not gastric bypass fast but damn we are gong to be frickin hot this time and I can't wait for the plastic surgery!

Happy almost Friday to you all!